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why can’t a t-rex clap? because it’s dead
too soon
How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his Family.
WHAT
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks “why the long face?”
The horse replies “my wife has terminal cancer”
what’s worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?
the holocaust
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a truck.
(Source: chickensandwich)
Roses are red
Violets are blue
If anybody asks if they know you from somewhere, look them in the eyes and say, “Do you watch porn?”
There once was an angel who held a man’s hand in hell and said ‘Come.’
Only to hold that same hand in purgatory and say, ‘Go.’
#and on earth the man will take the angels hand #and whisper ‘stay’
and his brother will roll his eyes and whisper ‘gay’
Oh my god, it got better.
